Common Mistakes Even Smart Parents Make in Preparing their Kids for the Future
Although well meaning, even the smartest, most loving parents tend to make the following mistakes:
3. Rave too easily
“You’re super!” “You’re gifted.” Everyone wins! Everyone gets a trophy.
With these kinds of raves and actions kids start to realize that only mom and dad think they are the greatest. No one else is saying it. They begin to doubt the objectivity of their parents. It feels good in the moment, but isn’t connected to reality. These types of unearned raves don’t condition kids to put in the effort to win, or work for recognition for their own sense of accomplishment.
My daughter, Lexi, played basketball for years while in elementary school and every year the team rarely won, but magically, every year all of the team members received their own shiny gold trophy. Now, in junior high, she is on a competitive jump rope team and for the first time would be participating in a national competition. She practiced all year because she really wanted to make it on stage to the awards podium. She could see herself there. Although she did not win first place or a “gold trophy” she achieved fourth place, made it to the awards podium and was so proud that her hard work paid off.
(By the way, all of those trophies that I was asked to pay for each year are now at the bottom of a box under her bed.)
2. Talk too small
Talk to your child using your own vocabulary and voice. Converse with them as you would anyone else and they will learn vocabulary, assertiveness, and self-worth. Using “baby talk” or talking down to them rather than using complete sentences and actual real words doesn’t prepare children for actual conversation with real people.
My aunt made a point of always speaking using adult vocabulary in conversations with her kids at the dinner table.
My grown cousins have the largest vocabularies of anyone that I know.NEXT